This has been a stressful couple of days as the end of the class I'm taking is drawing near and I have a HUGE project to turn in on Thursday night. I have been a slave to the computer between the 10 page unit I wrote and getting slammed with papers to grade for the online class I teach. My eyes are buggy and I'm craving some movement. This has been on top of getting Charlie's Pinewood Derby car ready for the big race on Friday night, trying to entertain Bridget and Henry, drying muddy, wet paws (because of course it's raining AGAIN and our backyard is a pond!), Will trying out for baseball team, and on and on. There are days like these and I want you all to know that it's hard being a mom. Tonight Will, you and I had another talk about becoming 13 - the kind of person you see yourself becoming. You're struggling to find your place right now and it is hard to be the mom. This is where I wear my heart on my sleeve. I want you to make the team, have that success and confidence that comes with being a part of something bigger than yourself and the good social connections that come with it. Unfortunately, wanting it doesn't make it so. You still have a chance and we'll do the cages again over the weekend, but I hope you'll be okay if you don't make it. Such an odd concept that middle school sports is competitive enough that a good athlete like you may not make the team. More than the team though, I hope I can help you begin to define what it means to be "Will". To help you become a teenager who is willing to do the work to be the person he is capable of being.
Charlie - you and I had a heart to heart about growing up as well! You began counting the days today until your 8th birthday, and yet had tears about doing your spelling words. We talked about accepting all parts of life, that include homework and all the other things we don't always want to do, but have to. You are so stubborn!!! I just know you're going to be an amazing man when you grow up, but getting you there is sometimes hard, hard work.
These are the days when I have to put aside being tired, wanting to do other things myself to get my job done. What I really want tonight is to snuggle into my bed with my kids all around me, read lots of books, and settle you all calmly into bed. But tonight - tears from here and there. Even some of my own. Maybe when you are parents yourselves, you'll understand.
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